I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
