omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
