I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
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