the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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