I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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