i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
