She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
