you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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