I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
