i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
