physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
