I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
