where am i from again
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
