I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
