Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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