pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I look better un-naked...
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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