It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
