Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
