You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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