Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
