sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
