My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
