Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
