I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize
