Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
