You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
