Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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