I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
