I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
