How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize
