2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
