Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
