I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
