when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
