I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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