I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
