She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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