hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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