apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
