this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I understand Curling. That high.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
