Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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