woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
