Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
