Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
