Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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