Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
