Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
