Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
