It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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