The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
