just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
