Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Randomize
