Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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