i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
