I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize