Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
