Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
