I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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