you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
