kristin has been a bad kristin
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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