We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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