apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
did i walk over a car last night?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
