dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
