I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
either way he was missing a nipple.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
