What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
