When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
