The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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